Trump beats Kejriwal to win “U-Turner of the Decade” award

After a series of flip-flops on tariffs, the number of U-turns taken by Trump has surpassed those taken by Kejriwal.

Turner Analytics, the agency that keeps count of such incidents, told TT in an exclusive interview that Kejriwal is no longer... (he coughed a bit here) the person with the highest number of U-turns.
Kejriwal’s AAP party, lovingly called the PAAP party by its supporters, has alleged foul play, as their chief was dethroned from the top position.

“There were tariffs on 57 countries, and when they were reverted, it was counted as 57 U-turns, which is unfair. It should have been counted as one incident. But challenge accepted — when we come to power next time, we will set such a high benchmark for U-turns that it will remain unbroken for the next 50 years,” the party’s senior leader Atishi Marlena said in a press conference.

The Trump administration, on the other hand, has threatened to slap another 10% import duty on Chinese goods if Kejriwal does not accept defeat. “I will hit this leftist party of India where it hurts the most. I know the puppet is controlled by Chinese drones. Check the surname of Atishi — you’ll know,” Trump reportedly said.

Kejriwal remained defiant and threatened to stage a dharna in protest against what he called the unfair treatment meted out to him.

“Modi ji is hand-in-glove with Trump. Look at the new expressways — they have so few U-turns. All this was done to give Trump an edge in terms of the number of U-turns,” he said while coming out of a cinema after watching the movie Sikandar.

Asked whether he would go to watch the movie JAAT, he denied it. “Jaats didn’t vote for me in the Delhi and Haryana elections — why would I watch that movie?”

Turner Analytics’ India office, which has been following Kejriwal for more than 10 years, postulated that this is the first time Kejriwal has spoken the truth.